Things I Want to Remember

Ten Moments with My Two-Year-Old (In No Particular Order)

1. I told Colter how glad I was that God gave him to me and his Daddy, and Colter proceeded to tell me how I unwrapped him and got him out of a box. He could not be convinced otherwise. :)

2. When daffodils started popping up this spring, I excitedly pointed them out to Colter on our walks. Soon, he started getting all excited about them and pointing them out to me only he calls them "duck-o-dills." Duck-o-dills! Cute!

3. My boy was playing out on the deck, and I could hear him chattering away through the screen door. I opened the door to see what he was saying, and he got an annoyed look on his face and said, "Go back in Mommy. I'm talking to Tangent (the cat)." Well, exxxxcuse me.

4. While on a walk on a wooded trail, we could hear frogs "singing" in the distance. I asked Colter what they were saying and he immediately interpreted the frog-ese as, "The trees are growing! The trees are growing!"

5. Colter was very upset and started crying one morning when I gave him his allergy medicine. I totally didn't get what was wrong until he explained that he already had his energy. Energy? Oh! He thought I was going to make him go back to bed to get more energy. Allergy, energy--I see how it could cause confusion.

6. When putting on some pajamas that Colter got for Christmas, we discussed how they were his "Christmas jammies." Colter informed me that God gave the pjs to Jesus, Jesus gave them to Santa, Santa gave them to Mommy, and Mommy gave them to Colter. What logic!

7. Colter used an air pump from an exercise ball (that he had to figure out how to put together) to shoot crayons, wads of paper, and other objects across the room. He's two, and he's already building rockets. What will this kid do with fireworks someday?

8. I asked Colter to hand me a yardstick, and he said, "This isn't a yard-stick, Mommy. It's a garden-stick."

9. We've been working on potty-training (not going well by the way), and Colter's been very interested in where poop and pee goes. We ran into a friend the other day, and Colter opened up the conversation by telling her that "Poop and pee goes into pipes under the house." Great conversation starter. :)

10. We retired the crib and moved our boy into a twin bed. He's done a great job with it, but since Mommy and Daddy can lie down with him in bed now, he tries to convince us to sleep with him. When John put him to bed the other night, Colter got him to lie down a bit. When John got up, Colter wrapped his arms around his neck and said, "But Daddy I love you! I love you!" Awwww!!!!! It's hard to say no to that!

A Pig Memory

Don't forget to check out my previous post and leave a comment! You could win CHOCOLATE (and a book).

***

The only good pig is part of a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. Really.

I feel some clarification is needed for items 14-16 from my list of 100 things about me:
14. I once was bitten by a hungry pig.
15. I HATE pigs.
16. I like B.L.T.s
All you P.E.T.A. fans out there, I’m sorry. I really am, but it’s true. Pigs are only good for eating. I can see getting upset if someone fashions a fur coat out of an adorable little otter, but trust me, pigs are not worth picketing N.R.A. meetings for.

For one thing, pigs are stinkin’ MEAN! Not to mention stinky! My parents owned pigs during my younger years, so I have lots of pig related memories. I remember how we had to keep all the momma pigs locked up in separate pens when they had babies—and this is horribly disgusting—because some sows would eat other sow’s piglets. Really! I remember when I was about eleven taking a stick and beating a big, ugly sow, my eyes filled with tears because I had just found the remains of three half-eaten piglets that had somehow gotten into the wrong pen. I’m sorry to share such a terrible memory, but I feel the world must know the truth about these evil creatures. I remember a big, ugly sow destroying a little watermelon patch I had so carefully planted in a little garden by my front porch. I remember a fat, jerk of a pig named earless (she was missing part of one ear for some reason—probably another pig bit it off) traumatizing me and chasing me into the barn. But most of all, I remember The Day of the Pig Bite.

The Day of the Pig Bite started off good enough. I had camped out the night before with my friends in Girl Scouts and got to spend the day hiking, making crafts, singing songs, or whatever it is that Girl Scouts do. My mom picked me up after my fun-filled morning, and we sang along to Debbie Gibson’s “Electric Youth” all the way home. When we got to the farm, we took care of most of the chores without incident. I climbed over the fence of the last pigs waiting for dinner with a bucket full of ground corn to present to the hungry herd of swine. If I would have been very observant, I would have noticed that the pigs were acting more frantic than usual. They always rushed towards the corn with crazed, starved looks in their squinty eyes, but today their stampede was accompanied by high-pitched squealing. Maybe the oncoming storm made them crazy. The fifteen or so huge, ravenous sows were practically crushing each other as they mobbed around me and their supper. I ignored them—pigs always seemed to be over-reacting—and casually strolled to the long, flat rock we dumped their corn on. As I leisurely prepared to begin dumping their grain, one of the smelly beasts got tired of waiting. I slowly tipped the bucket; a sow quickly reached over and closed her jaws on my thigh. I shrieked in agony and fright and began sprinting across the pigpen leaving a trail of ground corn behind me. The pigs got what they wanted, and I got a permanent set of teeth marks on my leg. I never really liked the pigs much before that, but when Mom poured rubbing alcohol on my leg, I decided I couldn’t stand them!

I’m not sure when my parents got into the pig business, but I do know when the bottom dropped out of the pork market during my later elementary years and they sold the stinkin’ things, I rejoiced! Thankfully, the only pigs I’ve had any contact with since are the ones that come prepackaged. I get to bite them.